Concatenated Order of Hoo-Hoo
The Snark calls Concatenation to
order, announces officers in charge, requests all officers to assume their
SNARK: Gurdon, you will now close the gate to the Gardens and see that no one is
entitled to remain in the Gardens or is hereafter admitted to the Concatenation
without being in possession of Card showing dues paid for the current year.
GURDON: Worthy Snark, your instructions shall be obeyed.
The Gurdon will instruct each
member not in possession of Card for current year to pay his dues to the
Scrivenoter and obtain temporary receipt for same.
SNARK: Great Hoo-Hoo greeting gives to his followers assembled here tonight.
Custocatian, bring forth the Sacred Cat. Custocatian
table. Make ready the Gardens, and prepare
to welcome those from the outer darkness who seek the light of Hoo-Hoo land.
Officers and members will now arise and join with me in giving the Sign of the
Order. Sign is here given.
SNARK: Scrivenoter, read the petitions yon have on file, giving the full name of
each applicant, address, occupation, name of firm or corporation connected with,
and the report of the vicegerent and Membership Committee.
SCRIVENOTER: Worthy Snark and brothers, I have the following applications on file. Reads
applications as directed.
SNARK: Since all applications have been approved we may ballot on them by
motion, if there be no objection. If there is objection we will ballot on each
In the event that all are elected
the initiation proceeds as per Ritual. If any applicants have been rejected by
the vote, the Jabberwock, in an unostentatious manner, will advise such
applicant and excuse him from further participation.
SNARK: Scrivenoter, you will furnish the Jabberwock with a list of the
applicants elected and will turn the applications over to the Junior Hoo-Hoo,
and you will see that all applications are returned to you so that you can send
them to the Secretary. Jabberwock, you will now proceed to the anteroom, and
conduct within the waving greenness of the Gardens Right and Left such pilgrims
as you may find waiting without. You will select such assistants as you deem
necessary for the safe conduct of the pilgrims.
Jabberwock, after saluting,
proceeds to anteroom and there calls the roil of applicants from list furnished
him by Scrivenoter, forming them into line, single file. During the absence of
the Jabberwock, and before the Kittens are brought in, the Snark will request
all members to remain seated during the Initiation, instructing that no one
interfere in any manner with the Kittens, address them in any way, call “Step
High” or give any information.
Kittens are now blindfolded,
hands of each placed on the shoulders of man in front of him. Jabberwock should
caution Kittens to maintain absolute silence during the initiation, obey all
commands promptly, and answer all questions fully and correctly. The Kittens
must not be costumed in this section of degree. Jabberwock then takes his
position at head of line and leads them to the Gurdon, who stands just outside
door of Hall.
JABBERWOCK: Gurdon, open the Gates and give us safe conduct to the Snark.
GURDON: It shall be done. Knocks three times on door,
which is opened by Arcanoper.
ARCANOPER: Who waits without?
GURDON: Sightless Kittens, who creep and cry on their way to Hoo-Hoo Land. The
Jabberwock conducts them.
ARCANOPER: Under such guidance they are permitted to pass the gateway of the
Gardens. Even the blind may enter here, but none depart save those who have
found the light and choose to walk in it.
JABBERWOCK: Follow me and fear not. Forward march!
The Jabberwock now enters with
kittens and lines them up as close to the entry as possible, but not into the
arena of the hall.
JABBERWOCK: Within the Gardens you are now approaching the light of Hoo-Hoo shines
alike for all. There, worldly motives and responsibilities may for a time be
laid aside, and naught be recognized but the Universal Brotherhood of Man. Great
Hoo-Hoo is the very living spirit of Brotherhood. We gladly hail him Prince, for
in his mirth there is wisdom, beneath his levity are hidden great truths. Come
not ye in shallow mirth to the perfumed Gardens, but with mind and heart
prepared to receive a serious lesson. By a journey tedious, and paths beset with
final and test you can alone come to know Great Hoo-Hoo. here is a veritable
mirror of life, life with its burden and toil, its light and shadow, its song
and dirge. No boon men ever sought was found without its value being measured at
last by that struggle in which it was won. Having been declared worthy of
admission to the secret of the Nine Lives which we find in the Land of Health,
Happiness and Long Life, you are new required to follow me and learn on what
this boon depends. First, however, you must become a blind Kitten indeed and
travel in darkness until Great Hoo-Hoo shall grant you open vision. Follow me.
Jabberwock conducts Kittens
directly to Snark, forming them in line in front of his station.
JABBERWOCK: Oh, great Snark. Mindful of your majesty, I conduct to the hallowed
circle of your magic empire here give
number blind Kittens, who devoutly crave
admission to the transcendent glories of Hoo-Hoo Land.
All officers except Snark and
Jabberwock line up behind the Kittens.
SNARK: Most noble Jabberwock, thou art a true and tried subject. I know that
thou wouldst not petition in behalf of the unworthy for entrance into the domain
of Hoo-Hoo, but before these sprawling Kittens start upon their pilgrimage in
our land of youth perpetual, they must pause upon the boundary of Hoo-Hoo Land.
Listen reverently, ye wealdings, who still sprawl in the gloom of wondering
darkness. Listen to the cat-tread of him, Great Hoo-Hoo, who comes from the
heights of truth to open the eyes of the blind and the selfish, and you may yet
be given sight, may yet look upon the face of his Prime Minister, may yet place
your hands upon his sacred far. But first must you lie prostrate in the dust at
his feet, and follow with alert ear as Hoo-Hoo, through his Snark of the
Universe, now repeats to you the oath which you must solemnly take. Kneel!
ALL OFFICERS—IN UNISON—LED BY
JUNIOR HOO-HOO: Hear, Oh, Hoo-Hoo, I the promises of these beings
who seek Health, Happiness and Long Life.
SNARK: Suppliants, repeat the words Hoo-Hoo sends, even as I, his Snark, repeats
“I solemnly declare I that so long as my heart
beats, so long as I breathe, so long as there is life in my body, I will never
reveal to the purblind humans of this world any portion whatsoever of the ritual
or rites of Hoo-Hoo, which come to me as I kneel here on the confines of his
Empire of Perpetual Youth; that I will not reveal anything of what may transpire
inside the Empire of Hoo-Hoo; as the servants of the Great Black Prince lead me
through the pleasant lanes and shining gates to the Royal Presence.
“I further promise that I will aid in every way
possible in the promotion of the welfare of our country and the interest of our
Order and the Lumber Industry and do all in my power in the promotion of
Friendship, Confidence and Education, in the life of Service so that to others,
as well as myself, there may result Health, Happiness and Long Life.
“Oh, Great Hoo-Hoo, hear my vow.”
SNARK: You may arise. Jabberwock, you will conduct the Kittens to the Station of
the Senior Hoo-Hoo, that he may explain the purpose of our Order, the duty each
member owes it, to his fellow-members and to humanity.
Jabberwock conducts Kittens
direct to the Station of the Senior Hoo-Hoo.
JABBERWOCK: Most Potent Senior Hoo-Hoo, by command of the Snark, I present these
Kittens that you may explain to them the purpose and aims of our Order.
SENIOR HOO-HOO: Ye blind, give ear and listen well. The ancient motto of our Order is
Health, Happiness and Long Life, and it is, too, the goal we seek. Its secret is
not in the stars, not in some dark chamber of old Egypt’s temples or pyramids,
but lies within our own hearts, to be discovered as Brotherly Love leads us into
the Friendship, Confidence, Enlightenment and Service that will illuminate and
The object of our Order is to gather together in
purely fraternal relations those who are engaged in the lumber industry, an
industry whose extent, in its varying phases, is so vast that :ts conduct and
influence are of tremendous concern to the human family. From the virgin forest,
by way of ocean and rail, by spring flood and singing river, by mill, factory
and yard, it carries the needed product to all the uses of man.
The cradle, swinging to lull innocent infancy to
steep, or that which shall hold at last the dust of our now vigorous tenements
of flesh at the end of earth’s brief trail; the homes that shrine life’s
love and worth, its joy and sacrifice; the churches of God, where rest the
altars of our variant faiths; the free academies of democracy; the temples of
law, and literature, art and music, of finance and drama; the roaring mills and
throbbing shops; the mighty leviathans that bridge the oceans, or the soaring
mechanism of modern daring, that lifts man to beat against the upper sky, all
that makes the outer robe of life is touched in its lowliness or its grandeur,
by this great industry.
It is the duty of every one who steps into this
Order to sense this noble function of the lumber fraternity, to guard well
against the entrance here of the unworthy or the ineligible, for on the
maintenance of a fit membership and a high ethical standard, the life and
usefulness of Hoo-Hoo depend.
To live up to the motto and realize the object of
the Order are the sole ends of this Brotherhood. We believe that the bringing in
of all the men of the lumber industry, to gather under the banner that bears
this Motto, to seek the practical education in method that ends in better
serving society, will, through personal acquaintance and trust, lessen the
strain of worry and business care, and so undergird the industry with Friendship
and Confidence that the Co-operation shall tend to
realize Health, Happiness and Long Life. Here every worthy man will find that
which will feed those humanizing visions of life and business that are bound to
make him the more a true servant of his fellows.
You will receive the unique and characteristic
insignia of this great Brotherhood, the white, black and gold button, which must
be worn in the left lapel of your coat. Without it you may receive no benefit or
courtesy of the Order.
This Order makes it a glad duty to extend its
benefits while a brother lives and not wholly to wait for the last silence and
pity evoked by insensate clay.
Jabberwock, you will conduct the Kittens to the
Snark that they may hear the Nine Commandments of Hoo-Hoo.
Jabberwock conducts Kittens
direct to the station of the Snark.
JABBERWOCK: Worthy Snark, at the request of the Senior Hoo-Hoo, I again present these
Kittens at your station.
SNARK: These candidates for Health, Happiness and Long Life, who stand before me
with opening eyes, must now be fully tested. Before being put to the test,
however, they will be given the Nine Commandments of Hoo-Hoo. Candidates, about
face! As the name of each officer is called, let him approach the station of the
Snark, salute, and transmit to these whose eyes will soon be open to the glories
of the Gardens that portion of the message of Hoo-Hoo which is delegated to him
and attach his signature to the Blank of Authority, all in accordance with
Constitution and By-Laws.
The Snark will call on each
Officer, and as his name is called the Officer will arise, the Snark will give
command, “Advance”, and the Officer will advance to the center of Hall. The
Snark will then command “Salute”, and the Officer will salute. The Snark
will then ask, ‘What is your message?”, and the Officer will deliver his
part of the Ritual as given.
GURDON: Kittens, listen to this first commandment: Hold the button of black and
white and gold more sacred than all the decorations of potentates, for as love
is more precious than gold, and Brotherhood above rubies in worth, so this
button, speaking these two things within the golden circle, is beyond all the
baubles of a court. Let no hand remove it from its place. Let no greed for money
or preferment rob you of the right worthily to wear this emblem. It is small,
but by it alone can you be recognized in Hoo-Hoo Land, and it speaks a great
message. Without its modest whiteness, its stern black, guarding figure and
glittering edge of gold, you cannot pass the outer gates of the Gardens where I
stand guard. If your membership lapses, the button must be returned to the
Secretary. Keep well the treasure—this is the First Commandment.
ARCANOPER: It was my pleasant privilege to greet you as you first entered from the
outer darkness into the bright and shining light of Hoo-Hoo Land. You will soon
have eyes that can look into the effulgent rays which health brings and
happiness sheds—those conditions which give sweet benediction to the peaceful
drifting away of white-haired and earth-rewarded years. When you pass my station
at the inner gate, returning to the world, let the light you have received give
life to a distressed brother needing that help which even a pittance gives.
Only, remember this-to truly help, give something of yourself with the gift. So
shall duty never compel me to deny you entrance to the Gardens. Live the truth
and help the needy—this is the Second Commandment.
CUSTOCATIAN: I come not from afar where mingling darkness and light do blind, but
stand close to Hoo-Hoo as he transmits yet six commandments, that you may be duly
impressed with the importance of the duties you owe Hoo-Hoo, in the preservation
of his robes of honor, his ritual of wisdom and those practical injunctions
promulgated through the Custocatian. When you in turn come to handle the
property of the Order, let duty carry you in fidelity to detail and such loyal
obedience to authority as forms the hard-visaged ranks of fighting armies.
Hoo-Hoo property will come into your hands in perfect order; keep and surrender
it thus, for the good of Hoo-Hoo. Keep faith with HooHoo and with all men. This
is the Third Commandment.
JABBERWOCK: I met you as you emerged from the outer darkness and will guide your
footsteps through the waving greenness of the Gardens Right and Left; will watch
over you in the trials and tests which ever come to those who travel in
darkness. It is for me to bid you support the faltering steps of your Hoo-Hoo
kindred in their times of temporary blindness. Remember that they are but human;
that their feet are still in the green grass of the earth though their heads and
lifted toward the upper sky, and failing oft, may still be brought to see again
the sin of ingratitude, the beauty of love for mankind. So, reach out ever a
hand to help, to reclaim—this is the Fourth Commandment.
BOJUM: I come from that station in the Gardens where you will be required to
take upon yourselves a promise forever to cherish and protect the emblem of this
Order. There you will be called upon to make the most humble obeisance ever required of you so long as Hoo-Hoo, the Prince of Good-fellowship and King of
Kindness of Heart, lets his light shine upon your pathway. Give to none an
intimation of that you hear or see here, when you have returned to the world of
men. Be not selfish, be not ungrateful; help a Hoo-Hoo in actual distress;
protect the honor and the virtue of the wives and daughters of all men; give for
the love of giving; strengthen for the love of giving strength. This is
Commandment the Fifth in the Nine points of the Star of Hoo-Hoo.
SCRIVENOTER: The work of the Scrivesoter, no
less than that of the Custocatian, teaches the lesson that loyalty is the small
things of life leads to success. It is the duty of the Secretary to have bound
and filed on the shelf of honor in the archives of Hoo-Hoo what you have said
here of your past lives, that has given us license to call you worthy to walk in
Hoo-Hoo Land and taste its benefits. It will also be his duty to fill in the
blank space alloted to your future acts of life. See to it that he is never
compelled to write in it “unworthy”, and thus terminate your connection with
the Order to which you tonight pledge allegiance. This is the Sixth Commandment.
JUNIOR HOO-HOO: I ask you to remember the
lessons, and the joy and mirth of the Garden of the Left. It will be kindly; it
will be healthful; it will give action to the bodily muscle and brain cell; it
will be better than the mandrake root of America or quinine of Peru to tone the
system and oil the machinery of the body, giving health, inspiring happiness,
and securing long life. Therefore I bid you make mirth and to love laughter of
soul. This is Commandment the Seventh.
SENIOR HOO-HOO: Remember carefully the tradition
of Hoo-Hoo you will hear in the Garden of the Right. Hoo-Hoo can abide in the
earth only when its civilization is good, its manhood upright, its laws obeyed.
Therefore, preserve the laws of civilization, uphold the laws of the land. There
are higher planes of life yet untrod by man, and fallow soil now warm and
waiting for the ploughshares of those who will sow the seed of love and light.
Loyalty to your country and civilization will move us ever forward to the time
when the hills and the skies, the seas and the mountains, and earth’s valleys
will all echo back Health, Happiness and Long Life. Carry ye peace and good will
to all mankind. This is Commandment the Eighth.
SNARK: Kittens, About Face! You have heard the Eight
Commandments; the Ninth is to obey the other Eight, for only our obedience and
yours can make them vital. Kittens, ever remember the lessons that Hoo-Hoo
teaches. It is now enjoined upon you that, in commemoration of the nine lives of
the cat, you travel by three times three through nine circuits, and when three
circuits have been completed, you will be presented to the Senior Hoo-Hoo for
instruction. Jabberwock, you will conduct them.
Jabberwock conducts Candidates three times around the Hall, halts them at
the Station of the Senior Hoo-Hoo.
JABBERWOCK: Most Potent Senior Hoo-Hoo,
under the mandate of the Snark of the Universe, I here present these Kittens for
SENIOR HOO-HOO: Weak-eyed wanderers in the
infirm and sick old world, you stand in the pearly light of breaking dawn in
Hoo-Hoo Land. The Snark of the Universe has looked upon your faces and
pronounced them noble; the followers of Hoo-Hoo on. earth have carefully perused
what you have been pleased to say of yourselves and have pronounced you worthy
of admission within the shadow Hoo-Hoo throws upon the earth tonight. Listen to
the true story of Hoo-Hoo as handed down from days beyond the pyramids of
Hoe-Boo is Emperor of Happiness, of Health, of Long
Life; the living spirit of love and brotherhood. Hoo-Hoo once lived in the
bodies of a mighty dynasty. When the last Pharaoh of Old Egypt passed to the
hall of Osiris, Great Hoo-Hoo took up his abode beyond the confines of earth,
only returning from his cloud-encircled abode in the year of the calendar
Gregorian numbered 1892. Now he abides with men and will build up his kingdom
till it encircles the earth.
Know, too, Oh weaklings, that Hoo-Hoo is a merry
prince; that all these funereal trappings are but the outer form in which he
hides from the common mob, as yet unfitted to enter into the secrets of his
life. Know, chosen ones, that you have been favored above them; that you are
about to be led into Hoo-Hoo Land where the sun of good-fellowship ever shines,
and the fervor of his beam brings the human heart to its blossoming.
SNARK: Hold, Most Potent Senior Hoo-Hoo! Reveal not yet
all the effulgent blaze of Hoo-Hoo Land to such tender eyes.
SENIOR HOO-HOO: ‘Tis well, weaklings. The
Snark speaks ever wisely. Jabberwock, conduct the Kittens again by devious
windings thrice about the Gardens, thence to the Bojum, that he may give them
more light and strength.
Jabberwock conducts Kittens three times about the Hall, halting at the
Station of the Bojum.
JABBERWOCK: Oh, Great Bojum, by direction of
the Senior Hoo-Hoo I present these Kittens that they may hear a final message
before they are permitted to enter the higher degrees of Hoo-Hoo.
BOJUM: You have been halted at this gateway to Hoo-Hoo
Land to receive a final message before you are eligible to enter the
Biographical Degree of Hoo-Hoo.
From the beginning, man, standing on the reef of
time, has endeavored to pierce the mystery of his being, but the question as to
whence he came and whither he shall go remains unanswered. The Fates gave no
sign. The stars on which the Chaldean bent inquiring eyes were silent. Dumb were
the Oracles of Greece; in vain the divination of the Roman; and today, the best
that seer or priest can offer us is hope. But for our consolation, and yours,
who enter tonight the mystic circle, out of the mists and shadows which stand
between us and the splendid philosophy of assurance, Great Hoo-Hoo steps forth,
unfolding those living principles of universal brotherhood, everlasting as the
hills, which are net only the foundation of our Order, but the surest promise to
us, wherever we may go, whatever we may do, or be, here or in the realms
remoter, of an existence beyond the shadows. This Ritual, within the covers of
which these eternal principles of life are contained, is a precious treasure
which it will be your duty, as it is ours, to guard against the touch of profane
hands or irreverent lips.
As you proceed along this beautiful road of
enlightenment there will be revealed to you, through Our Code of Ethics, the
Aims and Purposes of this great Brotherhood which you should strive to measure
With this message to guide you I declare you
eligible for the Biographical Degree of Hoo-Hoo. Jabberwock, you will again
present these Kittens to the Snark.
Jabberwock presents the Kittens to the Snark’s station.
JABBERWOCK: Oh, Great Snark, I, again, bring
before you these Kittens who have taken the Initiatory Degree of Hoo-Hoo and who
desire to travel further into the land of Perpetual Youth. What are your
SNARK: Kittens, Great Hoo-Hoo is pleased with your desire
to see and learn of the beauty and mysteries of the Garden of the Left. The
Garden of the Left holds many great truths net revealed to you in the Garden of
the Right, but before you may learn these truths the Guardian of the Ritual will
obligate you to utmost secrecy. Jabberwock, present the Kittens to the Bojum
that he may obligate them.
The Jabberwock conducts the Kittens direct to the station of the Bojum.
BOJUM: You have again been halted at this gateway to
Hoo-Hoo Land to assume an obligation. We impose no oath with blood-curdling
penalties. You stand here simply as men before men, to pledge yourselves by what
should be dearest to you—your honor as men. You are to seal this obligation by
saluting what is dearest to our Order, the Sacred Ritual of Hoo-Hoo, set apart
for the purpose. This Ritual is precious, not because of the intrinsic value of
the sparkling gems which adorn its cover, but because it contains the traditions
of Hoo-Hoo, the teachings which have come down to us from the days before the
Do you so pledge?
KITTENS: I do.
BOJUM: The Guardian of the Ritual will now present it to
each in turn, and upon its covers you must imprint an audible kiss. When this
ceremony has been finished, the hoodwinks will be raised, and for a brief moment
you will be permitted to gaze upon the magic symbol which it bears.
When the hoodwinks are raised, the Bojum, holding the ... in reverse,
shall say: Behold that which you have kissed.
Here is sought to be created one of those sharp contrasts between the
solemn and the ridiculous that is the true essence of humor. The Bojum’s
charge, when properly read, is exceptionally impressive. The actual act he
enjoins is indescribably funny. While the Bojum is reading the charge the Snark
must impose absolute silence upon all, and Kittens must not in any way be warned
what to expect. Hoodwinks mast not be raised until after all have kissed the
Ritual, for if the mask is raised for each individual candidate it will be
impossible to maintain order and secure the result wanted.
BOJUM: The performance of this ceremony entitles you to
the full mysteries of the Biographical Degree, or the Degree of the Playful
Kitten. The Jabberwock will conduct you through the three remaining circuits to
the Junior Hoo-Hoo that he may instruct and test you.
The Jabberwock will see that all Kitten are blindfolded and that his
assistants have arranged a sufficient number of chairs in front of the Junior
Hoo-Hoo’s station, facing the Senior Hoo-Hoo, to seat all the Kittens and that
the Custocatian has all materials ready for use, as directed by the Junior
Hoo-Hoo. The Snark will maintain perfect order in the Hail and all will be
required to be seated except these assisting the Junior Hoo-Hoo, the Jabberwock,
and the Custocatian. All these officers will obstruct the view of the members as
little as possible.
JABBERWOCK: Most Valiant Junior Hoo-Hoo, by
command of the Bojum I here present these Kittens who, having taken the oath of
secrecy, are new before you to receive further instructions and the tests of the
JUNIOR HOO-HOO: From time immemorial it has been
the custom of Hoo-Hoo to demand from each stranger who entered his domain as a
suppliant for his favor, a test of his mental and physical capacity, the test
being directed to that which would tend to divert and interest. “A little
nonsense new and then is relished by the best of men.” Kings sometimes unbend,
and even Great Hoo-Hoo himself is at times pleased and amused by those lighter
trifles which interest and entertain ordinary mortals. From behind the somber
curtains occasional rays of his smiling brilliance shine out upon us, and are a
constant source of increased Health, Happiness and Long Life. Great Hoo-Hoo
demands that sour physical condition and capacity be fully tested in order that
we may know whether or not you will be able to stand the further tests demanded
of all who walk in the light. Above his throne is written: “No weakling enters
here.” You will, therefore, submit yourselves to the three tests of the
ALL OFFICERS: The tests! The tests! The tests!
Before proceeding further the Junior Hoo-Hoo will request that no member
touch or assist any Kitten during these tests. Jabberwock and assistants seat
JUNIOR HOO-HOO: Kittens be seated.
Place your left hand on your breast and your right
hand on your Hoo-Hoo.
JUNIOR HOO-HOO, after waiting a few seconds for all to see: Your Hoo-Hoo is the top of your head.
“Let this be a lesson to you. Keep ever in mind
that your Hoo-Hoo will guide you wisely always if you will but maintain the
co-ordination with your heart. It will guide you not only to bigger and better
things in your every day business life, but in the clean, wholesome social
events which tend to make life worthwhile.”
Junior Hoo-Hoo will follow instructions fully as to the test.
JUNIOR HOO-HOO: You will first drink from the
fountain of youth, long sought for by the ancients as a source of perpetual
youth and beauty, for which even Ponce De Leon searched ever a new continent in
vain, but found at last only by the followers of Great Hoo-Hoo. You will take in
year right hand the beaker filled with the immortal liquid, which I now present
to you, and hold it above your Hoo-Hoo. At the command, “Drink,” you will
drain it to the dregs. DRINK!
After a brief pause the Junior Hoo-Hoo proceeds.
JUNIOR HOO-HOO: You will now smell the ...
BREATH. Sweeter is it than the spices of Araby or the flowers that bloom in the
spring. Let your inhalations of it be long and deep.
Junior Hoo-Hoo here passes in front of the Kittens and gives each a chance
JUNIOR HOO-HOO: One more test remains. Members
of the Concatenated Order of Hoo-Hoo must be men of large kidney and strong
stomach. As a test of the latter, and as a feast symbolical of the origin of the
Order, I now present you with a piece of quivering ... fresh from our altar. Eat
it, in token of your fitness for membership in our Order and in obedience to its
law. EAT IT!
After Kittens have eaten and silence is again
secured, Junior Hoo-Hoo
turns to Snark and says: Worthy Snark! The Kittens have
been duly tested. What are your commands?
SNARK: Most Valiant Junior Hoo-Hoo, you are fully aware
of what is required of all Kittens seeking the light of Hoo-Hoo Land. From time
immemorial the unfit and unwanted Kitten has been consigned to a watery grave.
Rather than sentence these to that last dire and moist fate, let us pause. If
you are not satisfied with the tests of these Kittens and feel that they have
not been given every opportunity to prove themselves worthy of admittance, you
are hereby authorized to give them such further tests as you deem necessary or
advisable. We certainly do not want to deprive any Kitten of the opportunity to
prove his possession of the physical and mental qualifications required of all
who seek the light.
JUNIOR HOO-HOO: Jabberwock, you will conduct the
Kittens into the outer darkness, there to await the further pleasure of Hoo-Hoo.
The Jabberwock conducts all Kittens to the ante-room. The Junior Hoo-Hoo
and Snark have before this agreed to whom further work is to be given. Those to
be tested remain in the ante-room. Those excused from further work are brought
into the Concat hall and seated in the “Onion Bed.”
NOTE: This portion of the ceremony of initiation is under direct charge of
the Junior Hoo-Hoo and such assistants as he may select and appoint, and may be
varied to suit the occasion. Anything, however, which is opposed to morality or
decency, or which may threaten personal injury to the Kittens, is strictly
prohibited. If the Snark has maintained good order in the hall, during the
conferring of the Ritual and all the foregoing part has been administered with
that solemnity which its impressiveness merits, a sharp contrast will have been
created with what is to follow, which will immeasurably aid the Junior Hoo-Hoo
in doing really effective work. If, however, the Snark has not maintained decorum and has permitted disorder to develop, nothing the Junior can say or do
will be new or surprising.
As the Junior finishes with each Kitten, he is seated by the Jabberwock
with the other Kittens in the onion-bed. The Junior will refer to the Junior
ritual for his aid in the work that follows here and, as above stated, will see
that nothing is allowed that is opposed to morality or decency, or which may
threaten personal injury to any one.
After the Kittens have passed through the Junior work and are seated in
the onion-bed, and when all is ready to resume, the Junior will say in loud
JUNIOR HOO-HOO: Jabberwock, present all the
Kittens at my station.
Jabberwock lines up all Kittens before Junior Hoo-Hoo, without blindfold
and with costumes removed.
JUNIOR HOO-HOO: Kittens, I congratulate you upon
the excellence with which you have responded. The tests are satisfactory to
Great Hoo-Hoo, and he bids you a hearty welcome. You have been duly tested, and
your long journey and arduous tasks are now to end. Hoo-Hoo, salute those who
tonight have been duly born.
ALL MEMBERS led by Junior Hoo-Hoo:
JUNIOR HOO-HOO: Jabberwock, present the Kittens
to the Snark of the Universe, that he may communicate to them the secret work of
Jabberwock conducts Kittens to the station of the Snark.
JABBERWOCK: Oh, Great Snark! by direction of
the Junior Hoo-Hoo, I present these Kittens that they may be instructed in the
secret work of the Order.
SNARK: We now come to the closing ceremonies and I shall
proceed to deliver to you the great message embodied in our Code of Ethics.
As a courtesy to any visiting officer of Hoo-Hoo it is suggested that the
Snark invite him to read the Code of Ethics to the Concatenation.
SNARK (or whoever reads the Code of Ethics): Kittens,
this Code of Ethics which I am about to read to you represents the Aims and
Purposes of the Order. You will be given a copy of them later and these Aims and
Purposes of the Order should become the individual standard of every good
HOO-HOO CODE OF ETHICS
To fill with credit the sphere in which we are
placed without interfering with the rights of others.
To promote human advancement and higher standards
of civic, social and economic relations by developing in business the spirit of
the Golden Rule, which we accept as the basic principle of peace and prosperity
for the world.
To establish the spoken word on the basis of the
To cultivate true friendship and therefore
confidence among persons engaged in the lumber industry, modifying the freedom
of competition with the good sense of understanding.
To conduct ourselves and our business so that we
may render service to society.
To consider our vocation worthy and to be worthy of
our vocation as the Nation’s home-builders.
To assist liberally and sympathetically all that
seeks to elevate humanity, by charity of action and thought and by justice to
all men through the “Square Deal.”
To keep in view the world bonds of human interest
and trade, seeking to promote friendly understanding among all nations and
To recognize the abiding power of co-operation and
organization and so to act as individuals that the Concatenated Order of Hoo-Hoo
shall ever be regarded with honor as a source of community benefit and
SNARK: These things which I am about to transmit cannot
be given to you outside the guarded gates of the Gardens, and mark ye well each
The sign of ceremony or recognition, called the
Royal Challenge of Kinship, consists of the following short colloquy:
Have some brother step forward who has button on, and explain position,
Question: Is that a ...?
Answer: Yes, a ..., ... with a ..., ...
Question: What is your purpose?
Answer: Promotion of ..., ... and ...
This colloquy is also used by the Gurdon at the
outer door before admitting you to a Concatenation already assembled.
There is no grip.
The sign of distress is ...
When the sign of distress cannot be seen or made,
the following may be used .... The Sign of Courtesy, known also as the Sign of
the Order, and so called in the obligation, is ... This sign may be used as a
salute between members when they meet. It is given three times during the
ceremonies of opening and closing a Concatenation, and is used once only as a
salute upon entering or retiring from a Concatenation, and whenever addressing
You will receive from the Secretary your Hoo-Hoo
name. It will be a number.
May I once mere remind you that in Hoo-Hoo, the
only fraternal organization of lumbermen the world has ever known, there are
more values than at first appear. Here burns the fire upon our altar whose glow
reveals your business competitor not as an enemy, but a brother; that our
destiny and happiness are one, and that as we give ourselves to planting the
seeds of Friendship and Confidence we shall be better fitted to do that which
business is properly designed to do. This concludes the ceremonies of
initiation, and with great pleasure I welcome you to full membership in the Concatenated
Order of Hoo-Hoo.
You will be seated among your brothers.
After all are seated and quiet is restored:
SNARK: Before closing this Concatenation, I desire to ask
if any member has any business referring to the Order to bring before the
Concatenation, to be submitted to the Supreme Nine for their action.
This refers to any criticisms or instructions for the good of the Order.
SNARK: Officers and members, rise and give the Sign of
the Order. In accordance with the established rites of Hoo-Hoo, and by virtue of
the power in me vested by this Scroll of Authority holds up Blank of Authority which has been
signed by all the officers I declare this Concatenation dissolved.
Arcanoper, throw wide the gates of the Gardens, and permit the light of Hoo-Hoo
to shine forth like the rays of a beacon through the darkness of the outer